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August 8th, 2008

fun fun fun

I am living with my aunt and uncle in Maryland for the remainder of my internship. Scratch that. I am living with my aunt, uncle, and Maggie, their darling dog, for the remainder of my internship. And by "darling dog" I mean "hound from Hell." Outwardly, she seems to be an OK creature. She doesn't yap-yap-yap constantly, she doesn't jump on folks and lick them (I HATE BEING LICKED BY DOGS), and she only follows you around when you are eating beef jerky straight out of the bag (which is something I do often, but never mind).
But Maggie does not produce tears. Apparently this problem affects a lot of dogs of her breed (Westie). This means that she needs eye drops constantly. Maggie's eye drops are a major topic of conversation at my aunt and uncle's house, and I have recently been drafted into Maggie's Eye Drop Brigade. I have to clean the crusties from her eyes and hold her head still and deposit Visine into her eye balls. This must happen often. Fun, huh? WHO'S HUNGRY??? Anyway...the problem is that Maggie herself (and her strangely discolored fur) make MY eyes itch and burn like there's no effing tomorrow. Plus, she has fleas that bite my arms and legs in the night. Isn't that DISGUSTING???
DC's humidity makes me a hot mess anyway, what with a shiny complexion and hair that curls the moment I step outdoors. Add flea bites and eyes redder than a stoned Judd Apatow cast member to the mix, and you get the picture. NOT FUCKING ATTRACTIVE!
Ah, how I miss my little studio in Adams Morgan. Even though the kitchen was in the closet and the apartment hallways smelled of Pakistani cooking and Marlboro Reds.
Tonight I am going to take the train to Lexington, VA to visit relatives from my mom's side of the family. Apparently there is a lounge in said train. I would like wear my sunglasses indoors, Bono-style, to hide my poor allerg-eyes, and a scarf, Jackie-O style, on my head, and converse with be-handlebar'd tycoons and drink scotch and soda. In all likelihood this will not happen. If it's anything like my last train experience, I will sit behind a large group of obnoxious high-schoolers from Congress Heights discussing loudly their slutty friend who was recently involved in an "Eiffel Tower."
In other news, the office vending machine now contains Goldfish crackers.
It's the little things.